Be Excellent To Each Other

I quite enjoy Britains got talent, a guilty pleasure if you like, however this year has new judges. Michael macintyre and the hoff, they actually weren't too bad to be fair.

But, how about tv people, actually showing some of the fucking acts! 90 minute show, with only 3 acts shown, the rest of the time was background stories, reactions, crowd shots, judges chatting etc...

"fantastic act, three yes's!". How about actually showing us the fucking act then!

I've only watched (most of) one series - the year Susan Boyle was on it.

I don't watch it, as it edges me ever closer to being Sinister Agent's GoTo man cometh the glorious day.

Hi. Please ban the phrase 'guilty pleasure'.

If you like something there's no need to be ashamed of it, or be guilty that you like it.

It's ace, so say so. Don't hide behind these false words.

I agree & so does this guy

You can't get pownd if you love the song. I have two remixes of it on my computer.

What if I like murdering hookers? A smidgen of guilt is probably reasonable, no?

You can feel guilty about the crime, but not the deriving of pleasure from it. For that you should be totally unapologetic.

I shall start making banners.

I'm sure there's an apostrophe missing here, and I don't like it.

Nah.

Nope, there's three of them.

Is it GazChap?

For what it's worth, I don't agree with Mr Russ.

On which issues in my manifesto?

I'M SO ANGRY THAT LIGHT BALANCE DID NOT GO THROUGH.

LETTICE!? LETTICE!?

THE PUBLIC ARE IDIOTS. IDIOTS. YOU, PUBLIC, YOURE IDIOTS.

Yup, that's the Irish for you, they'll vote for any old shit as long as you stick a shamrock on it...

Was Lettice Irish!?

No, the Irish dancers were, but the light balance folk would have been in the top 3 if they hadn't been in it.

To be fair, I didn't mind them at all. Their set was tight, the funky house soundtrack was modern, hip, right now, and, hell, for Irish dancers they had moments where they moved their arms. Their arms! I liked it.

Lettice: I facking hated that garbage.

I like the opera singing girl.

She makes me go tingly in my pants.

Pics!

I really don't want to see his groin, thanks.

Nice... dress.

She all lovely in a vintage sort of way. And she seems pretty fun.

She has a lovely set of personalities. Also a funny voice which is quite nice

So I'm catching up with yesterday's results show since Catch-up on TiVo doesn't have the actual show (bit bizarre, Virgin). Doesn't look as though I've missed much but that dog was hilarious. He was so happy and wouldn't stop barking throughout the results.

Turns out the main show is actually Britains Got More Talent. Stupid Virgin. The dog doing the world record was fucking brilliant.

Please also ban the phrase 'sneak preview.'

IT'S JUST A FUCKING PREVIEW!

Jamie Raven, the magician chap, is on again tonight.

I wants him to win. Not least because he has played at several weddings I have been to (including APOD's) and is a genuinely lovely chap who didn't mind that I spent most of the evening following him around.

Is he the guy that did the animated card trick?

That was one of the best magic tricks I've ever seen.

Yeah. He did the fifty pound note trick and then the one with the cards with drawings on them.

He's on again tonight.

Yep, I've seen Jamie up close 4 times now.

First time - Frankie Dettoris restaurant opening. Took his card to do our wedding. Lost his card and forgot his name
Second - At our friends wedding. Took his card and booked him for...
Third - our wedding.

Then, at my Brother in Laws wedding in February, he had booked another table magician, then two weeks beforehand asked if the magician had a mate to help him cover the room as they'd got more guests than anticipated. The other guy put Jamie on the job with him - none of us knowing that it was him. Had a good chat with him at the bar beforehand and he told us that he'd got through to the Semis and knew that already. He did the trick that he did on the show at the bar and it was even more amazing up close. Apparently he's got a new trick that he's "never done in public before" for tonight - so if he cuts into a kiwi fruit he's a lying twat who I won't vote for.

Yeah fair play that was the best card trick I've seen yet.

Camp guy dancing to Beyoncé. I'd have never have guessed it...

Old Men Dancing were acebest.

Anyone remember The Grimleys? I fucking adored Amanda Holden in that.

And she didn't spend the whole series relying on tittape with a twig stuck to her breast.

That was a bit odd.

Didn't think Jamie looked as comfortable doing the 'big trick' type thing, but he's still lovely and won, so YAY!

Yeah he looked awfully nervous.

I thought the helicopter ruined it and he was lucky to get through (compared to his audition). A simple card manipulation trick with some bells and whistles - the closeups with the goldfish and ice were very good and what he does best (although he fluffed the shoe), the helicopter... just a bit of an unneccessary distraction.

Dude it's Simon Cowell. He probably had no choice.

Every one on these shows doesn't get to show who they truly are because once that bastard has the hooks in it's all completely manipulated. I've seen so many people go out of the X Factor because of shitty songs that they didn't choose that didn't suit their singing style at all.

The manipulation begins at the first bloody interview. From that moment on the chosen acts are given air time and completely groomed.

And yeah, I know all of this but I still watch the crap. Mostly because there are a few diamonds in there that he can't ruin.

Ha!

Dog. Yawn.

Jamie Woz Robbed!

I've only just started watching it. My initial thought is as follows:

"White boys can't crump"

Simon was right about Boyband. It wasn't their best performance and although it was different from their last performance it was entirely generic for Britain's Got Talent. I'm sure another dance crew has already done the elements before.

It was shit.

And the White boy tried to incorporate elements of crumping again. Seriously boys: don't bother.

Marry me.

I know Old Men Grooving don't win but, by God, they should have won.

Timing issues aside, as soon as "you got that vibe" came on they absolutely killed it. And what the hell is Amanda Holden on about it being 'camp'. She clearly has no comprehension of what that means.

I've seen that lemon trick done somewhere before. Someone somewhere on TV has already done that.

I'd have been more impressed if he didn't put his hand in the bag and take out the lemon, too.

DOG WALKED ON A TIGHT ROPE!!! FUCKING YES!

DOG HAS COMEDY TIMING!

AMAZEBALLS!

Best thing I've ever seen ever.