Be Excellent To Each Other

The Doc's post in the coffee thread reminded of this hypothetical decision my pals and I used to toss around.

You can have £30 million. All of it. Right now. But! There's a catch.

The only food you can consume for the rest of your life is the food you would normally find in a train buffet car.

This doesn't mean you have to eat on the train - your own buffet car follows you around. You go to a fancy restaurant? Your friends eat like kings while you eat a reheated bacon sandwich or a tube of pringles.

But you have £30 million.

What. Would. You. Do?

Which train company? If it's Virgin Trains I'd be cool with that. Their sandwiches and salads are fine.

I'm not sure what they have in there, as long as it would be possible to create a diet that was not going to shorten my life then I would have no hesitation at all, I'd do it for one million, probably even less.

If i had £30 million, then once I had a nice house, some cars, and various gadgets, then I can safely say that I would spend the rest on food and drink, and travelling to try more food and drink.

So, no.

It said nothing about drink.

I'm a maverick.

You could have your pick of buffet cars. So one man's Virgin could be another man's Grand Central.

Trooper, you could travel on different trains, see the world from a comfy carriage. There would be an array of shortbread biscuits to sample.

MarkG, you're a cheap date. Fancy a Pot Noodle? I do.

Do I still have to buy the food off the buffet car? They're very overpriced.

You have £30m you tight prick

Yep you do. Luckily you're a very rich man.

I would start a company supplying fancy meals to train buffet cars. Checkmate

I said I'd do it for a million though, I was just checking that I didn't need to revise my offer. Make it two million and you have a deal

Ah, I'd never thought of that. I was too busy mentally spending my money on cars, hookers, cocaine and Wine Gums.

It's a full-time job being a train food magnate, I hope you're ready for it.

Deal. Though bear in mind the man pushing your buffet car may be a thoroughly unpleasant person - and he is the man you'll be spending the rest of your life with (along with your family).

I'd pay him £5m to be nice to me and also be my chauffeur and butler.

If he had £5m, why would he want to be your butler?

FEEX

It would be part of the contract. He wouldn't have anything until I carked it. If he went first then his family would get it.

Is this exclusively UK buffet carts? I imagine that the food on other countries buffet carts is, at worst, different, and possibly significantly better. Does the Orient Express have a buffet cart?

That's motive for murder. Perhaps food poisoning?

The buffet cars on some of the Luxury trains would do fine


Rovos Rail

Infact sod the restaurant, I would eat and drink in the carriage

I was going to say "couldn't do it" as I get a lot of enjoyment out of food, but the above looks pretty good.

Wait, you have to live or always eat on a train? I thought you were just limited to eating only the things available in s iDisk train buffet car? If I have to live on s train then obviously not.

I get confused that the Orient Express goes to france

No, my buffet car follows around. So if my friends go to a restaurant I can only eat things off of a buffet car menu, but be with them? That's fine.

Fuck yeah I love crisps, chocolate and sandwiches. Crisps and chocolate in sandwiches too.

And now I've lost 15 whole minutes to a fruitless internet search for the recipe to Rev Stu's sandwich of champions.

MetalAngel made this at my house once.

How was it? Cloying, I imagine.

Disgusting.

I've not seen that. Keep searching!

Was it in this one?

#page/n97/mode/2up">https://archive.org/stream/Amiga_Power_ ... 7/mode/2up

Oh, I remember that. Didn't it have a chocolate bar in it or something?

I don't think it was that one. I seem to recall it involving something like cheap white sliced bread, strong cheddar cheese, salt and vinegar crisps, a sliced up mars bar and a defibrillator on standby.

That's the one.

We made it at the cottage. It was as you would expect, really.

Oh, that's not what I was thinking of. I was thinking of the same thing as Findus Fop - sliced up mars bar, cheese and crisps, and I thought it had come from a post on WoS rather than Amiga Power.

Umm.

Apologies, Mr Dave, I thought you were replying to Davpaz's question of 'is this the one?'

Change the bread to something more sturdy and I'd have that.

Close

https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic ... 5B26-50%5D

I seem to remember a much more expansive description than that.

I would eat it without the Mars Bar.

there be some good hunting.

It is, although it's not the stu quote I originally saw, as it did say it was scientifically (!) the greatest sandwich ever and go into more depth.

Which that doesn't.

It's likely that it was a WOS post. I don't think the Internet Archive has a copy. What was the address back in the day?

It wasn't.

We saw it on a post on that Stu stalking blog (presumably set up by some world of champions member) who had found it somewhere else. Would have been while we were all at the world of bistro.

No idea as to the address of either of them.

Oldest 'image' is from March 2009.

http://web.archive.org/web/200903260833 ... forum/2180

Any joy in there?

See: my post.

I could check my feb 2008 emails for links, but not currently.

I have a feeling it might have been on yakyak or whatever that minter forum was.

Though I do remember it also from the Flat Top blog.