Be Excellent To Each Other

So far:

"Laytoya Jackson"

Doesn't like white colored foods. The racist.

MrsA: 'Mad'

Sugababes lass, Munter, 14 tatoos, with piercings and a kids, sounds like my favorite barmaid.

MrsA: 'Fucking hell'

Crowd boos.

Big tits, though.

Verne Troy...

Jesus.

He's 2 foot 8 you know, with a phobia of spiders. And he dislikes incinsiderate people. And he "doesn't do stairs". His favourite song is "You shook me all night long". I would have thought it would be Garbages "When I grow up".

As it's the adverts, I'd like to remind people MrsA's niece is on "Total Wipeout" on BBC1 on Sunday.

Yeah, I know.

Also, as there is 'nothing on telly' tonight, I can't play Far Cry 2.

Not that I'd ever watch this dross, but is that the one that looks like Bib Fortuna?

Round round baby round round blah blahababblahblah
/

According to davina, it is the time when "The famous become the playthings of you, the british public".

Next loser is that twat Tommy Sheridan.

And he's scottish.

Yeah.

The Scotish socialist is being booed by the crowd. Like the ignorant fuckers even have a fucking clue who he is.

TV programmes like this devalue the idea of democracy in the branes of da fick.

Oh, aye.

Now it's Lucy Pinder. The Daily Star topless model.

Who looks a lot like she might have been a man, previously. Or, Mypsywypsy in drag.

I do not do escalators
/

Her lifetime ambition is to "hold a monkey".

Mimi, get monkey, and a gun.

You have a mission.

Verne has just started grinning like a wanking chimpanzee.

Ben Adams is next.

From A1.

Yeah, that's what I said, as well. But then again, i'm never one to break my promises.

I suffer from spider ambivalence.
/

I think I'll give up smoking tomorrow.

He's gone into the house and Verne Troy has bitten his leg and jumped down his space sui.. Oh, hang on, that's Austin Powers. The fast and the Furious is on ITV 2 as well, so fuck knows why I'm watching this.

And another, hold on...


HOLY SHIT IT'S TINA MALONE FROM BROOKSIDE AND MIMI FROM SHAMELESS!

She's had a gastric band and balloon fitted and lost over 4 stone in weight.

Well, let's hope verne makes it out then.

And the next is Coolio. He's got 6 kids. And would be in jail if it wasn't for his family. And he has a white mask on his head, backwards. Probably to ward off tiger attacks. His favorite song is Gangstas Paradise and sticks himself in "The world's top 10 lovers". Personally, I'd say the husband of the woman with 18 kids is way higher than him. by a factor of 3.

He seems to be very polite, though.

And it's Michelle Heaton from liberty X now.

I have no idea who most of these people are. in fact, I should have gotten MrsA to type this.

Jesus, she's got an annoying voice. And then there's the records. And she's talking about her ex husband (Lisa Scott Lees, from Steps, is his sister).

She doesn't seem to be too bright, bless her. mrsA is predicting a catfight between her and the starwars reject.

She's getting booed as well. Seriously, if people aren't turning up for a good time, what's the point of going? Sheffield Wednesday excepted, of course.

Her favorite food is Nandos (amongst others) so maybe a dinner date with Mimi is on the cards.

Well, its either this thread or the Guardians live blog

And to be honest, you're winning.

And next is Terry Christian.

"That annoying northern twat that did the word..the septic T4" his words, not mine.

Should be called pleb big brother.

I never saw the word. So I dunno.

Thanks, Plissy.

In fairness, their bank accounts are considerably larger than mine, so I'm not going to comment.

I can see him now, with his froglike face boinging on the end of his springlike neck, holding a feast icecream.

Speaking of which, did I mention "Total Wipeout" and the appearance of the inlaws?

haha. Money the root of all evil

I wish to point out that I have had the "privilege" of being interviewed on Mr Christians radio show, and he is a grade A ignorant cunt.

I never suspected otherwise, but it's nice to be confirmed.

And finally, it's Ulrika. i'm not going to do the shooting stars thing, as the Grauniad probably did that, and I'm funnier than they are.

She's not aged well, but has mentioned Svenny twice.

She's described herself as "reasonably sane and emotionally intact". She's getting booed which is a shame.

Davina's reading of her cue cards as rubbish as usual.

Actuially, I dunno what else to say a bout her. i quite like her.

Poor lass.

Hopefully, i can play far cry later.

I've still 568ml of becks from my bottle (660ml) I opened before this came on.

She;s nice and polite and stuffs.

She was caked in slap on the new shooting stars. Looked like a panda with 2 black eyes.

If I ever met Ulrika I'd have the one question.

"Was it worth falsely accusing someone of rape in order to sell your book?"

443,556 is, not money.

Verne got the biggest cheer.
Coolio seems to be very polite.

Oh, do I fucking care?

Mind you, back in her weather girl days, I wouldn;t mind my warm front passing over her southern regions.

Sorry.

So, that about wraps it up, apart from a mention in dispatches for Davina's fur coat. it's pronaby fake fur, but there we go. i've never seen the point, really of fake fur.

Thanks folks, maybe tomorrow.

I would LOVE them if they signed up John Leslie to arrive as a surprise mid-week entrant. Ooh the fireworks.

Oh, Total Wipeout, BBC something, over the weekend.

Don't forget. Previously seen on Weakest link, XFactor, National Lottery Quiz and Crimewatch. (OK, I made the last one up).

John Leslie and Stan Collymore. With Vic and Bob standing off to the side with handbags raised.

I've just read it. I prefer mine as well.

CSI is quite good tonight.

Has Ulrika had sex with anyone yet?

Do we get to watch them do a poo? Or at least wipe their arses with a close up of the clagged up bumwad?

Dunno, I'm currently contemplating cracking one off to CSI.

This thread has provided an awesome amount of amusement, top points Mali.

I really feel sorry for John Leslie. Utterly murdered by the media and then acquitted. His cunting 'wife' of his sees her chance for fame and takes it, hard. That fucking bitch is one that I'd see roasted slowly on hot coals, the grasping, despicable woman.

And then the poor bugger has to answer another false rape charge before it gets dropped. Poor man, you can see the whole thing has aged him awfully. No wonder he keeps a low profile now.

During one of the moody science bits? "They're doing science and they're, Still Alive"

Hey, it's done Phillip Schofield's career a world of good though.

Maybe she wanted to relive her days with Stan Collymore.

Badoom tish !

I hate John Leslie almost as much as I hate Roy Walker.

Two smugger cunts you could not find (well unless you chucked old Campbell in with 'em)

I watch this shit so you don't have to. Thanks, though. Appreciated.



There was an interview with him in the weekend section of the Grauniad or Observer a while back, and he's pretty, well, sanguine over it all, IIRC. I think he's now a property developer now.

WHY DO YOU HATE ME?

Yay, another richer who will soon be chowing down on spam like the rest of us

Marx's grave in London is just a communist plot.