Be Excellent To Each Other

So, I often get big shitty catalogues through my door, that say "when you re done with it, leave it to be collected"

Am I under any legal obligation to do so, or can I just recycle them? I certainly don't want to make things any easier for these shitty catalogue companies, and I would prefer to just recycle them with the rest of the junk.

I guess under the unsolicited goods act they would have the right to reclaim them for up to 30 days.

If that's true then I won't bother using places like big yellow storage any more - I'll just deliver stuff to random people's houses and then go and get it 30 days later.

I don't know if it is true, I sort of remembered something like that but mostly I probably just made it up.

I just leave them outside.

Ditto. Same with babies and kittens in baskets.

The law can be summed up as Catalogues fine, Penises less so.

The one I really want to tackle is the church stuff that comes through - makes me livid and I can't readily complain as I'd wish, as I've got clients involved in these fucking places.

"church stuff"?

Rosary beads, plastic dashboard Jesuses (Jesii?), steeples...

I wasn't aware of any regulations regarding a requirement to return anything that comes through my door. It's all fair game for recycling, in my book.

Newspapers that look like a red top, full of stories about strength and community loveliness, all of which is basically saying 'get to church'
Lists of events at the church
Watchtowers
Alpha bullshit
...and so on - the snake oil never stops pouring through my box. Whether it is the sky daddy or the future in my tea leaves, someone wants my money. And yet the other two tribes of the Children of Abraham don't seem to need to spam my real-life inbox. Funny, that.

I'd expect a carols list at Xmas but one such piece of crap through my letterbox a year is reasonable, something every three or four days is not.

Oh, I feel neglected by Jeesus now, he sends us nothing.

That's because he hates you, and his dad. Hates you that is, not that Jesus hates his dad. That'd be odd, as they're the same person...

Mother of Christ.
I wanna feel what Mary felt.(Mother of Christ)
I wanna feel what Mary felt, (Mother of Christ)
when God spent his seed.


No.
Feeling..fertile.
Feeling...immaculate.
Feeling...nice.
Nice.


It's inside of me(6x)


Mother of Christ.
I wanna feel the messiah's head .(Mother of Christ)
against my confuesd virgin breast (Mother of Christ)
I wanna lactate sin free.

(short instrumental break)

Mother of Christ.
Why does it sound so ugly?(Mother of Christ)
Why does it sound so ugly (Mother of Christ)
when I say waht I feel?


And I see the angel's mighty sheath.
And I feel the earth and heavens spread.
And I see the skewered burnig pit.
And I feel the nugget of the seed.

I'm the earth mother.
I'm the virgin mother.
Primordial mother.
The virgin mother.

And I feel the womb envy within.
And I feel the holy conception.
And I hear the groans of the damned.
And I see the hymens ripped with sin.

I'm the earth mother.
The virgin mother.
Primordial ooze

Don't some of these door-to-door catalogue people have to buy the catalogues themselves?* So binning them would be hurting someone just trying to make some money, specially when the effort to recycle the catalogue can't be much different to popping it just outside the door to then be recycled anyway.

[edit] * This page (http://www.findextrawork.co.uk/sellmakeup.php) says that an Avon catalogue costs the person 9p each. [/edit]

I never did when I did Betterware door-to-door.

Also, I'm not having your crappy catalogue littering my immaculate front garden, especially when you always lie about when you'll bother to come and collect it.

Mind you, I have a 'no circulars, no catalogues' notice on my door, so if you put something through that'll cost you if you lose it, it's your own stupid fault.

That's the spirit, did Betterware myself and if someone said 'no catalogues' once, I'd never go there again. Strangely, this seems to be a step too far for most catalogue people. Also I did it in the village I grew up in and there was fuck all public transport so me bringing people their kitchenware was vey welcome. No-one needs that shit in a city though.

'Just trying to make a living' is not an excuse to spam my letterbox, phone or windscreen wiper.

If I fuck your letter box can I ask for my spunk back?

I had a cat once. I dropped a sofa on it. It was a write-off, so I stood on its head.

Particularly the cunts who put some pamphlet for some starving orphans hopsice or whatever on my windscreen. This half-dissolved on the rain and became irrevocably stuck to the glass, prompting 20 minutes of arduous, disgusting scrubbing and scraping to get it off.

There was a horde of chavs at the Nantgarw leisure complex (so what else is new?) who had stacks of leaflets and had THREE to put on each car. suffice it to say, when we walked back to our car an hour later it looked like it had snowed leaflets as everyone had just pulled them off their wipers and let the wind carry them off.

However, they only had to flyer one third of the cars as the nice middle class kids.