Be Excellent To Each Other

Hiya, let's play "harness the internet opinion of vacuum cleaners."

Love ya.

There's no such thing as a Dyson Hoover, unless they've merged recently and I haven't heard about it.

They suck.

Yes, but it's half past midnight and I've been drinking, so I'm letting nomenclature slide so the proles can understand it.

I'm tired.

Dyson, not only a vacuum cleaner, but also a food processor if you were inclined to use it that way

The problem with Dysons, and indeed any vacuum cleaner, is the eventual loss of suction.

When you first buy a Dyson is it unrivalled in its ability to pratically rip your carpet up in sheer suction power. Seriously awesome.

Over time however its less awesome. The filters get clogged and need replacing. Our Dyson is now quite average despite having replacing the filter and me completely disassembling it, cleaning it, and putting it back together more than once. It still vacuums capably well, but not with the raw awesome power it had when new. The attachments still work and suck excellently well, which has led to me now going over my carpets exclusively with these instead of actually pushing the main bit back and forth.

The Dyson at this point is perhaps 2 or 3 years old.

DC01 FTW!

Gerald, are you sure the main bit isn't just clogged? The DC01 has a nasty habit of getting a clump of fluff jammed under the plate underneath, back where the motor is. It still sort of works just not very well.

Seriously dude, I deconstructed every component it is possible to deconstruct, and cleaned it all. Like a whistle. I think mine is a DC07. I think.

When you have to go to that much effort to maintain your vacuum cleaner, you might as well just pick up each bit of fluff and dirt in your house by hand.

There's a reason why officer contract cleaners always use Henrys. They are small, practical, very well built, cheap (compared to a Dyson) and you can buy all the spares with ease. I have one in my office and one at home and heartily endorse them. I did have a Dyson, it was cool but the clear plastic always ensures they end up looking tatty and bits tend to break in a way Henry cleaners do not.

I'd have one of them if it wasn't for owning a cat, because you really need the whizzy brush bit on an upright vac to deal with cat hair properly. With an upright vac comes the problem of fragile, breakable bits on just about any make

We can't have an upright due to the house layout (lots of stairs). Actually the Henry deals with the cat hair fine with a little bit of effort. And it scares the shit out of the cat to boot (if you want her out of the way, just reach for the Henry and she'll leg it, great if she is bleating for food early).

In the 80's we had a Hitachi upright that was so powerful it could suck up whole galaxies. It actually had a control that let you turn the awesome power of the motor down akin to a volume knob.

I have a Dyson. It's like, OK. But only OK. Not shit but not great.

Pluses - Its strong, picks up pretty well and is easy to take apart and clean/empty. So to that ends unless the motor goes it should last years.

Minuses - Its sooooo fucking heavy man. Carrying it up the stairs is hernia inducing. It looks kinda stupid. It cost way too much money. (I didnt buy it it was a gift).

However. My heart is with the Oreck XL. So it uses a bag and looks like something out of the 50's but I just don't fucking care. My mate had one who I lived with in the USA and it weighed about as much as a jam sandwich. It also picked up amazingly well. TBH one of these wouldn't cost much more than a Dyson, and it's just so dang light it doesn't even feel natural hoovering with one.

Dysons are overpriced crap. They're basically unhygienic, having no bags. They aren't recommended by the allergy specialists either, partially for the bag-less design. I was told to avoid Dysons, in fact.

I have a Sebo x4 Extra as my vacuum cleaner of choice. Swear by it.

Do they give out achievementS?

No, but if you are Polish you can use a Henry to suck you off.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1580535/Worker-caught-having-sex-with-Henry-Hoover.html

I have a Dyson and I love it. I have had it for 4 years and it still works perfectly. Perhaps because I don't overuse it

We have a dyson DC04... had it for 5 years.

CG you can wash the filters you don't need to replace them every time.

Also check the hoses. The one that extends and the one under neither. Ours had perferated, bought a new set for about £20 a shop off ebay.

The dyson is now as good as new. We use ours a lot as we have a Malmute who drops fur for fun

I have a Henry, my mum has a dyson, Henry wins hands down. Dyson doesn't lose suction as it fills up, well you can't lose what you don't have after all. They are over engineered and if you have ever tried cleaning your car with one, impossible to use! Get a Henry.

It's a little unfair to put anything up against the mighty Henry.

How is it impossible to use in a car... the long metal tube detatches. and the attachments fit directly on to the hose

I actually did a bit of contract cleaning as a summer job as a nipper in a big department shop. The used to use henrys bagless, with a big filter before the motor. It worked fine and the carpets were always spanking afterwards. Having said that I actually have a cheapo Vax dyson ripoff, but next time, twill be the henry that I go for.

I imagine it depends on the model, but my mum's just doesn't manage to get into any tight corners at all, it is really anoying.

The problem with using a Dyson to clean the car was (a) not scratching the thing when outside and (b) if it's an upright like ours it was liable to fall over when you even slightly tugged the short hose.

Older dysons were great. The newer ones are cheapy and much less effective, and break down fast.

The problem is that it's hard to sell suction power in a flashy advert, so they're spending all their time working on stupid things like a vacuum cleaner with a football on the bottom.

It might be true as we have a old old one DC04 in yellow and grey.

I always get my Uncles old Dysons.

Had 3 so far.

*boom*

I've had two DC01's just picking them up off the street where people leave them out for the bins. Use one, keep one for spares

The hero of schools up and down the nation

Yup. It's bulky too.

The only upright I have ever owned that even so much as considered the tight corner problem was this one.

I got it as a wedding present in the USA and it was a daaaamn fine hoover. Someone paid $800 for it. I clearly remember saying "$800?? for a f@*!ing hoover !" they just looked at me. Silly rich Americans like, wish they'd got us an Oreck.

Gotta say, the headlight is fucking awesome though, you can see everything that's about to go in.

It came with a funny alergen box. And I mean box. This thing strapped to your back and made you look like Robocop, so we never used it.

How easy are vacuum cleaners to wrap?

Why not just give MrsA some rubber gloves, a cute pinny, and a duster?

My experience is that they're overpriced rubbish.

My mother had a Beaumark canister that was great, it had motorised carpet beaters in the head-bit that would pull you forward so it damn well tore the dirt from the carpet very effectively.

She's since bought a Miele thing that she swears buy, but they're flipping expensive. So we have a Hoover 'Dust Manager' which is kinda cool as it either uses its own emptiable container or you can use normal bags in it. Looking back, though, I do sometimes wish we'd gone for a Henry ('er indoors' mum has a James, which is Henry's bro and he's equally awesome) as unlike most vacuums you can be sure you'll always find replacement bags for it (bitter memories of a student house where we had three vacuums in the space of two years... because our cheapskate landlord kept buying shit ones that no shop stocked the bags for).

Mrs Caveman swears by 'em. I wouldn't know of course...

I find not using an upright really hurts my back though. Don't you have that problem with the Henry or are you all short arses (or get other people to do it)?

I find that watching the wife hoover causes my back no trouble whatsoever.

I find that hearing about Craster watching his wife hoover doesn't affect my back at all.

Gets you just a little bit horny though, right?

The Henry has rather a long attachment hose thing that means you can use it almost like an upright.

Hmm, I might look into that then, ta.

Oh bollocks my washing machine has just blown up. It's only 14 years old and I put a new set of brushes in it only about 6 months ago. GRR.

Dyson do washing machines.

It's bright purple. It retails at £1100. The reviews say it's plasticy shit that breaks.

Unless I can get one for free like the vacuum cleaner, I think I'll probably give that a miss - thanks though

Mine only needs a motor and a bit of soot scraping off the inside and it'll be fine anyway.

Use it for washing clothes, not brushes.

Hope that helps.

Henry is fucking awesome.

Can you get a Henry washing machine?

I don't think so.


http://www.numatic.co.uk/<--- Henry's website.

7 people + the cameraman doing the video on that site. Fuck me, utterly totally fuck me.

I swear some production companies see mug clients coming. Wish I find some of them!

[thinks back to August where I did a studio shoot with myself and 1 other person!]