Be Excellent To Each Other

Hello,

i have drunk of teh wine so please excuse squifffynis f tpye!

So! We went for a meal. Not me and craig. my dad. anyway. we went to uxbridge and went to a meal called something spice. ver bvery nice.

I was drinkiongh but not dad becase he has a car.

So, we had fod and when teh bill came it was 97.78 opiunds. but then they put on

£20 gratiuty.

not a fighyure that was a oercentage but a bi round 20.

do you think that this s ok?

we culd not flute this beautiul meal but to demand that someone tip you stwenty pintus is too demanding bully>

so. is that right?

so, he said 'it was lovely, but if i give a top it is because i choose to because of the levl of sevrice and said he wold not pay the grautituity as it wasn't noted anywhere that this would be charherged. There was some 'discussion' but you will not argus with my dad as craig and myopyika will tell you. myoptuka has not mnet my dad by the way, becare you think he has, arf. I should a picture once because he is a bouncer.

What does he do, he bounces. swhat are you going to do? bounce.

actually, he is mostly a bodyguard now for people.

anwya.

so, he said no, and he sad yes, but everntually it went to no and he gave himn FIV piunds, we would have given them ten but you know, dont be grreedy! yes?

cap i never drink this much especualluy in one week. sorry ccc

i have to meet someone at 8am tomoprrow and i have stuff to do before i go to bed, how poo.

criyes.

man i cant evn read this

We need to set up a drunk Mimi thread.
£97 for two of you? I am glad to be out of London.
I think 10% give or take a bit is a fair amount to tip, so £20 on top of £97 is far too much, especially if they add it to the bill anyway, but don't make it clear they are going to.

Why am I seriously replying to a drunk-Mimi post?

write it down and draw a picture for it and you can put it on whatever forum your on in 20 years time.

Yay for drunk threads by Meems!

becaise sits a serirus! question. really it made me feel a bt off

i will. in here is the text. i will draw a piture

i corssoed out the bloon bec ause i dont have one it was just in my had becase iw ould like one.

attatch it oolit looks

it goes funny small lik that like brokn up lines

Personally, I'd tell them to bugger off. You don't legally have to pay it, and simply the fact they suggest it means I wouldn't.

I think you have to pay iot if it's "reasonable", which this isn't. I remember looking into it once. I also remember looking into restaurants refusing tap water


also: Is this thread 100% satire?

yes satire. i bnged my head on teh radiator

but now i have wrpped teh presnts and can go to slep hurrah!! i have a bumpo f my head though feeling better now after feeling icky but mst go te bed as i have to be up wrlir than a ever wabted tomorrow. wanted,

i do not kno is uxbridge is in london actually. maybe someone who is better at london goegrphy can help. ninety seven pounds was ok because t was smashing and becaise it was onverdue and a special birthday traet!

Happy birthday me (soon) not that soon.

Since when did you HAVE to pay tips? It amazes me that they still exist.. No one gives me a tip for doing my job to an adequate level. Surely that is what's expected of me by the mere fact that I'm getting paid for it in the first place?

In case you haven't guessed... I never give tips.

That picture makes me think of:

Am I the only person in the world that doesn't have a problem typing legibly even when I'm drunk off my non-existent mantits?

i am giong to look into t tomorrow pod. obviously this s to late and also sortd out just because we we a bit angry because of the principle/principla? is one differnt from another liek a headmaster?

anyway, i will find out and let poeple know tomorrw beause i think it is somehitng woth actually knowing for the future.

goignto bed now ecuase my head is a bit sore from where i banged it

had to wrap chtasim, that ays christmas presnts up too, which ,made me fel not so tpsy now. i can sopeak fine, it's onpy hitting th keys in the laytop that i ever find difficult plus fall down a lot. i wonce did a commando roll at the front door when someone delibered a letter t was mos amusing crag still laughs

my frind pushed me over a wall once and i got stucj in a bush o) and my shoes cme off

I came out of a party once and was at the ther side of lancatse from my home but i wasnt because i was only three dors awayt from my house and iforg.

i also gt the munchies onc and ate a whole box of weetabic

and one more time i cooked a foll roast dinner when i was drunk it it was four am and cfraig's housemate just happened to pop by the house at that time in teh morning and there was roast chicken and yorkshite puddings with potatoes and all sorts.
there s a video of me cooking pasta once.

once my frind and me amde toast and drank too much we couldn't make toast so she had to hold up a knife with butter and i had to rub braed toast on it to move teh beuuter tot he toast.

good stuff.

now i am boring and just sleep xxxx

i thought of a prying mantis but you ahve a spider yes?

I can type fine it is onmly because my keyobord is flat because of a lptop[

it makes it hard not to press the right keys right crrect ye?

see, t is more because i just miss not cnat spell which i can apart from some words.

also i type fast maybe because i am very tired more so than when i a m a wake in teh day

this is m and monkey aevery day n our adnventures

anyway this thread is about yips not wine and i am sobering up now quickly maybe beacuse i hit my head it is relly sore and there is a bumo n my hair

anwya feel ill so goodnight xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

oh i showed dad the bananphone ong and he laughed so i phoned craig and showed him and he laughed too. he said i speak some words loud when i drink wine.

actually it is wine that makes me drink not other things. only wine then i act stupid.

It is technically in a London Borough but it does not have a London postcode and thus will never be considered true London.

I have posted equally rambling gibberish on EuroGamer, from my mobile, whilst on the train back from a night out. And somehow manage to spell it correctly.

Poor Mimi. What will you make of yourself when you read all this tomorrow? Will you even be able to read this, or will you just be lying in bed, desperate for water but unwilling to move your head towards your glass for the pain it will cause?

Cutest thread evar!

As long as she can't get near a keyboard until fully sober I don't really care.

She'll probably be more concerned about the bumo in her hair than anything else.

ha that was my favourite typo as well.

If I'm still capable of turning the pc on, then I'm usually still capable of typing properly.
I'm not always capable of the first one though.

we should all get drunk one night and type random stuff! Tips though, never go over 10%, never pay the tip with a card. Places that add service charge to a bill tax the waiters on their tips. Why don't chefs get tips? They work harder than the waiters and actually make the food. Tipping is a mechanism designed to make people uncomfortable. I am soooo tired.

I don't either, which is remarkable really.

I would have paid the 97 quid for the food, and tipped at my discretion, and left it at that. I tend to tip between 0-20% though (or, I used to, when I was employed) when going out for a meal. My forumla is around on this forum somewhere.

He was probably doing the 'they're so drunk they won't check the bill' routine.

Best thing ever to read on a shitty Monday morning.

Thanks Mimi x

Not convinced this is a bad thing...

Well, if they don't like it they could always get a new job.

Tip in cash on the table so it's legally the property of the staff. "Optional discretionary service charges" applied to bills or gratuities on card terminals are legally the property of the restaurant, and should be politely declined in favour of cash-on-the-table. An improvement to the law, but still not good enough really.

Adding £20 to a £97 bill is outrageous*, especially to then treat it as not optional. I think it can be not optional if the menu has, in clear lettering, a note saying so. It has to be really obvious, though, and on every page with prices on.

That was a truly awesome display of insobriety, mimi.

* A £97 bill for two curries is also outrageous, even with several hideously marked-up £4.50 (big) bottles of beer and wine our bills rarely go over £55.

97 quid for curry for two people is a LOT, even if you culd not flute it.

Tell them to get to flucking heck.

Mimi seems to be getting drunk a lot lately, why is this?

I thought this thread was going to be about road grtitous.

So very, very entertaining. Proper shocker, too, on the tips front, but in an ideal world it'd not be upsetting. They made their play, you said no and tipped in cash. End of story.

when i was in ireland i got a "service - 6€" in my restaurant bill. I had no idea such thing even existed, and was baffled by it. That really removes all the purposes of tipping. I tip between 1 and 2 euros if the service is good and nothing otherwise (yes, i may be cheap, but no one tips me at my job, so i don't feel any obligation to do it).

I have been feeling ill all day

I had to go out though, and I have a bump on my head still.

I have twice had a drink with people because I shall not see anyone from family and old friends until my *mumble*th birthday, Christmas and New Year have all passed, so my friend and I went out for a birthday meal (as her *mumble*th birthday is on the same day as mine and she has also just got engaged) and then yesterday for a kind of birthday meal.

That's it, though, Seen evrybody now so you won't have to put up with that any more, so sorry, espcally to Chinny who was so unimpressed he put an angry Stu smiley, which reading now made me fel a bit sad.

£97 was I guess a lot, but my stepdad was paying I did though have two big glasses of wine. He didn't drink though. It was a lovely meal.

I love the complete loss of typing skills you suffer whilst drunk. It's only even once happened to me, and I was very very drunk. Last exam, went to the bar, I owrk there and lots of my boss types were there -> very drunk for about £1. There's a text file on my desktop titled "read thus you cutn g.txt".
It contains this:
.


Yes, it contains quote tags for no reason?!
Mimi: Did you look into the free water thing?

No, I haven't looked into anything yet. I woke up to the missed call and message 'I'll be there in five minutes!' (bugger, run through the shower and into clothes, still wet) wash pen off of face (a banged my head and tried to draw a big circle around where I thought I had banged it in a thich light blue felt tip) and then realise that the doorbell was on mute and that the person ringing my phone for the last five minutes was my sisiter, downstairs in the rain unable to get in. Arf.

then I came home, went to sleep. Ate some pototo wedges and went back to sleep, drank two bottles of lucozade, wished I had some macaroni cheese watched iPlayer in bed.

I shall look into the whole area of tipping and free water tomorrw. I think a place MUST give you free tap water. I think it is the law for an eatery if you request it. Maybe that is just one of those common misconceptions though. i will find out and report back.

I seem to have problem spelling when I drink. or maybe typing? Actually, i am pretty sure I can spell fine when I have had too much, I think though my co-ordination is so affected that I type really fast and generall get the right leters (or the keys next to the pnes I am aiming for) and in the wrong order where I just press all of my fingers down at once. i can kind of feel myself doing it. I see the letters and aim for them all at once, rather than in sequence

Haha. Excellent.

It either will or will not be part of the terms of their premises licence.

This should be on display, so you should be able to reads it anyway, but if not you have every right to ask to see it, and indeed to let them know they should be displaying it.

Everywhere I've worked divvied up the tips and gave an equal share to the chefs and dishwashers as well. This worked out best for everyone.



Fuck off, do they. They don't have to take shit from lying, sneering, lecherous arseholes all night, and can swear and shout all they want. They work hard, yeah, but everyone does, or the restaurant goes to pot.

I wouldn't pay an obligatory 'service charge', however they dress it up. The service (ie: staff wages) is a cost of running the business, and should be factored in when pricing the menu. Staff should be paid a decent wage, and any tips left entirely to the discretion of punters. Any staff who expect or demand a tip should be booted up the arse, too - tips are a bonus, not a right. A decent wage for the staff, and a decent price for the punters, are another story.

My cab driver on Thursday night asked for "£65 plus a tip, please". He got £30, and the tip was "Don't try and charge double what a black cab does when you're just a minicab".

You got away with that, did you? What did his meter say? Or was it one of those illegal rapecabs?

I wouldn't have the courage to get into an illegal rapecab, let alone argue over the price.