Be Excellent To Each Other

Stand behind them, suck your teeth and tut a lot.

Learn a new musical instrument.

Violin maybe.

solitaire?

Tai Chi?

Switch the pc off and start taking it apart and switching the RAM cards about and so on.

That would be properly awesome. Sit in the corner of the room playing some slow, maudlin eastern european music, make them think they're working in war-torn Georgia fixing up a half-bombed tenement.

Just don't make them a cup of tea for god sake! They'll stop working for ages

No! They're probably Poles anyway, they'll start stewing up rats and warbling along for hours.

Poles?

Last time I had anything like this done I just sat in the corner of my living room playing Metal Slug on the Wii.

Did nothing else, just played Metal Slug.

Same here but with Hexic. Once the guy had finished, he then watched me play for 10 minutes before leaving.

Fnar etc.

Sometimes I feel the same if there is someone else in the house. You could print out some pdf papers or something and shuffle them about, doodling pretending to annotate and say you're 'working from home today'.

Although last few times I've just sat watching telly or playing on the DS.

I often fell that since I'm quite handy myself, I should be helping them. Obviously this defeats the object of getting men in... but I like to feel useful all the same!

Watch Trisha make a brew and scratch your walnut.

On a related note, how easy is it to install a heated towel rail? Is it a job for a sparky or can it be a DIY job?

Photos! Use the opportunity to practice your stealth photography skills without arousing the anger of the plumbers.

Does Trisha make cups of tea for her guests these days?

Do you mean an electric one? It won't be hard but electrical installations beyond simply plugging things in need certification by a qualified person.

It's piss easy.

I put one in our bathroom. The only 'tricky' parts are marking everything up nice and straight beforehand and making sure you don't wobble the drill too much or else the holes are a bit too big. Also running the cable for the heating element (I assume you're after an electric one as you mention an electrician).

I just drilled a big hole right through to the bedroom beside the bathroom, put a plug on the wire and plugged it in to a timer in the mains socket. Make sure it's a decent timer though.

I bought all the shit from hombase, it came with instructions and fitting bits.

Bloody 'ell! We aren't posh enough for one of those G!

As long as you do it, you know I'm shit at DIY...remember the towel holder? Off to Homebase tonight then

Put on some hardcore scat film and masturbate while howling.

There's a chance of putting the towel rail on crooked if you do that Dimrill.

"I'm not recording this you know."

Only if their balls are out and they give consent for her to scratch them.

Litera-lol

I was a plumber once and went to some chap's house and he just played Metal Slug. Didn't offer me a go, not ever as P2.
Cunt.

Ask them whether a vote for Obama means death to Israel.

Last year on my day off I had three workmen, landlord, landlady all round all day while windows got fitted. All the windows down one side of our flat (8-9 windows - long sided flat!)

To pass the day, I hacked my PSP Dark Alex stylee, and chucked a load of homebrew (and so on) on there while they milled around me. Made it go quite quick.

How's the new boiler?

She's not as pretty as the old one, but she's got better tits.

Our heating's stopped working.

Also, Goatboy: you only have one day off a year? Hardcore.

Last year, that was pretty much the case. But I bought a laptop and three games consoles, and a car, so it was worth it.

Sounds like a busy day. I hope you bought the car first so you could put the rest of the stuff in it.

Our heating keeps fritzing out and settin gof warning lights. The landlord's response is not to replace or have it serviced, but to keep coming round to look at it, then turn it up even higher. This means that the water is searing hot all the time, and he wonders why the gas bill is so high. Muppet.

Has she considered that, overall, you being dead from hypothermia and/or pneumonia might be worse for productivity than having an afternoon off?

Our heating is still not working. With the drama of yesterday we forgot to call the plumber.

On a related note, why is it that the clichéd porn movie starts with a woman trying to fix her sink or whatever, only for a hunky plumber to turn up and sort it all out and then they fuck like rabbits?

Surely it'd be "hotter" for the bloke to be "fixing his pipes" (as it were) and a hot female plumber turns up and then nature takes its course?

there's your problem though.... female plumber? Such a beat does not exist. Even in fiction I'll warrant

Exactly - even porn needs to be in some way believable. Everyone knows women are biologically incapable of doing plumbing work. Do you really think your average lady could use one of these?

neither can your average male, though.

it looks like a human pushme-pullyou from that there Dr Doolittle