Be Excellent To Each Other

What’s the thing that’s horizontally wide but vertically short that you’re trying to describe, Mimi?

A rectangle.

It’s not a physical thing, it’s just a shape. I just thought of it a few days ago whilst I was trying to avoid getting out of bed.

Love yours

Police appeal after Lamborghini and Mercedes crash in Alderley Edge

"POLICE are appealing for witnesses, video and dashcam footage after a two-car crash in Alderley Edge."

In the meantime, here's a photo of Wilmslow Road in Alderley Edge before the crash took place. Or possibly after, then the Elves have tidied up.

British journalism at its best.

Is the ridge anywhere near the bridge?

I was tired.

Mimi has been possessed by aliens.

These thoughts are the ones that keep me awake at night.

I think this is what might be keeping me awake at night for a while.

That's a rectangle.

Yes. But a rectangle with CREEPY EYES.

Night night, Mimi x

Thank you Zardoz. Always good to have a bit of back-up crazy to go along with my forwards-facing crazy.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and wondered if (natural) sponges were formed from organic material with holes going though it, or if sponges were just holes with organic material formed around it.

Sweet dreams xx

Consider this assertion.

There are two kinds of people in the world.

Those who think there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.

Liz Truss thinks that social media needs more of her in it.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/20 ... ream-media

I’m tempted to register LettuceTalk.co.uk to get a jump on it for a bit of fun

Her reputation is much better in the US than in the UK. I think "Former Prime Minister" works for her there whereas "Worst Ever Prime Minister" doesn't work so well here

I do love it when politicians bang on about "the elites". She was the PM of the United Kingdom with a majority of 80 but it was the editor of the Guardian that was stopping her?

You know when banks offer a switching bonus? Well for the last three years I've been opening new accounts whenever they do that. It's not even a money thing for me. I just think about the dirty tricks the banks played when I was in my 20s. Trying to get me to borrow huge sums of money by sending me loan offers that looked like cheques. Pricks. Luckily I never fell for it. So if any of them offer up a bonus, I sign up, take the money and bounce.

The latest were Nationwide who were offering £175 which you could get twice, once for a solo account and again for a joint one. I'd already done the solo account and didn't qualify but I got the bonus for the joint account on Tuesday. Neat!

So me and Mrs. Blucey have decided that account is going to be our 'fun account' and so we'll pay into it every month and then we'll use it for booking tickets and paying for trips and nights out.

Immediately booked tickets for a comedian, Simon Evans, who I remember being quite good on Live At The Apollo but he's playing a local venue that we like a lot. And then we've also booked A Christmas Carol goes Wrong (by the 'Play Goes Wrong' guys) for November.

Thanks, Nationwide. Pricks!

BTW - if you've never bothered with bank switches, you definitely should. I've made £2400 since Aug 2022 and I've also done the same for my wife and her mum.

Darn right! I'm not quite as serious as you but I'm up nearly 900 quid since I started this time last year. I use a single "main" account and then just a second one with a handful of Direct Debits in it that I switch across. A few mins sorting some DDs and a standing order and it's free cash!

Nice. Just so you know, I managed to get NatWest, RBS and Ulster despite them all being in the same banking group. So no worries there.

And I got Lloyds twice within a year or two by signing up with a different email address the second time.

Once on one of those horrible office away day things we were all siphoned off to do that stupid Meyers-Briggs test.

When they were presenting all of the results the head of department and I got the same designation, and he was so disgusted that he threw a massive paddy in front of the whole department and started getting really upset and demanded that he be allowed to take the test again so he could get a different result.

For some reason the organiser capitulated and he was allowed to become something else, leaving me as the sole person with that designation.

Every now and then this comes back to me. Fun fact: this happened in the hall I had my wedding reception in (not the same occasion though).

For the first time in ages, I was asked if I used to play for England, Fulham and Newcastle United.

As a kid It'd be mentioned every other week or so, but I guess my namesake has left the public psyche for sometime.

Are you a powerfully built and prolific goalscorer?

Have you ever seen a gladiator movie?

I bet that's what you say to all the girls

I certainly share a name with someone who was, but when I used to play, I'd be a central defender, as much as I wanted to be rampaging up the right wing, my coach wouldn't let me do that.

I did end up being captain of the b team in secondary school for a while.

Do supermarket delivery drivers have a certain allowance of carrier bag returns they are allowed to ‘gift’ per day?

Our Ocado drivers will often say we’ve returned bags when we haven’t, or will inflate the number that we’ve returned, so essentially making the shopping a bit cheaper. They do the same with my mum. She once was credited with returning 99 bags, so essentially making her shopping nearly £10 cheaper.

But the drivers do it quite often, so we wondered if there was a little allowance given to drivers to give extra bag return numbers to customers to sort of endear them to the supermarket?

Nope, we just lie, especially if you haven't counted the bags, because we don't have time to wait while you do.

No, that’s not it in either outs or my mother’s case. We always count the bags and tell the driver, but for some reason the drivers often inflate the numbers. Sometimes they put down that we’ve given the driver bags back even if we haven’t given any. Maybe the drivers around here and in London are just extra friendly?

I always make time to chat with the driver if they want to and I noticed that the ones who are in the best mood always give us a higher number back than I've counted and told them.

Do you do Ocado driving full time now, Grim...?
I know you've mentioned it before but I didn't ask at the time

Maybe they just like your pretty eyes, Russell.

I just have bags under my eyes…

Samesies.

I even gave one of the drivers a bunch of non-ocado bags last week and he gave me the 10p each for those even though you're only supposed to get it for the ocado ones.

I am 100% ok with this.

Yeah, the friendly drivers do make a difference, and I think that little gesture is super sweet. I wondered if it was a little thing that had been accounted for by the company for the feel-good factor.

Our delivery came just now and the driver gave us extra bags. Russell said “There’s seven there”, and she said “I’ll put down ten”. It’s a tiny thing, but I find it so lovely.

And she gave 20!!!!!

Maybe it makes their re-use / recycling stats look better

Why would the drivers care about that, though?

Anyway, I think it’s a nice little thing. You should get in on it, Grim.., you might brighten someone’s day

Yeah Grim... You should get on it.

Perhaps you should just lie, especially if you haven't counted the bags, because you don't have time to wait while you do.

Dunno for sure, but maybe head office encourages it as it looks good

Ah, I get you.

It makes a difference when you have a good natured delivery driver, postman, etc. For some people those are the only points of contact with other humans all day, so they can be a little reminder of good natured humanity, or (like my postman) can ruin a day.

We have had some wonderful posties in the past, though.

1) ‘Dog the bounty hunter’ a grizzled old guy who had the unique skill of knowing where I was at any time of the day. No matter where I was in town I’d be walking along with the buggy and he’d pull up besides me in his van and hand me my parcels.

2) ‘Fake JBR’ The friendliest guy on earth, looked just like JBR.

3) The singing postman. Big guy, always wearing headphones, singing at the top of his voice. Apart from a couple of times when his songs were, ahem, inappropriate this was wonderful as you could hear him approaching from down the street.

4) Dog lady. Super friendly postie with a pocket full of dog treats to give to the pooches she meets.

Many years ago I also had a postie in London that would ring my doorbell even on days I had no post, just for a chat. When he left to return home to Canada he brought me over a big bunch of flowers and made me cry.

Alas, it's the opposite. We're being asked to count all the bags now.

We don't.

Another thing it could be - if you order something big, like kitchen towel or 24 cans of drink, they don't come in bags, but the bags are still in the box. We're meant to knock them off the bill, but most people just add them as returned bags.

Yeah, we often have several bags consolidated into one. I think those usually come under ‘other adjustments’ on our receipt, though, for unused bags.

I remember the heady days of Ocado bag returns when they’d give you 10p for any old bag you had kicking around.

A lot of drivers seem a bit clueless about taking the reusable containers for the pasta, rice, fabric conditioner refill things, though.

It’s David Attenborough’s 99th birthday.

What a wonderful and lovely gift to the world he is

A lady gave me a load of dead AA batteries once and asked if I could get rid of them for her.

I put them in her wheelie bin on the way out

I've just heard "Deeply Dippy" by Right Said Fred on the radio and it gave me the most intense feeling of nostalgia.

I was pulled back to 1992 and reading a Speccy magazine, staring longingly at the Amiga screenshots for The Addams Family game hoping one day to own a computer that could do such amazing things.

It was such a clear and specific memory and I have no idea why that song triggered it.

Reader, I got that Amiga in late summer '92 and never looked back