My favorite joke in english

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

A bearded man points a gun at another man sitting on a chair and says:

- I came from Tunisia to kill you!

- To what?

- Tunisia

Zio · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6093

I guess you had to be there.

Curiosity · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:02

I dunno. It made me smile. I likes it.

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:17

I liked it.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:19

Using Google Translate, I did the same to mine, but to Portuguese. I bet it's right rubbish.

Porque é que o ouriço atravessar a estrada? Porque ele não tinha olhos.

myp · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:23

O que é marrom e grudento? Um pau.

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:24

La esposa y yo vamos de luna de miel pronto?
Jamaica?
No, ella viene de su propio acuerdo.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:25

Estatisticamente, nove em cada dez pessoas como gangue estupro.

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 12328

SpunkyMonkeyTrumpet wrote:

Using Google Translate, I did the same to mine, but to Portuguese. I bet it's right rubbish.

Porque é que o ouriço atravessar a estrada? Porque ele não tinha olhos.

Because it is that the ouriço to cross the road?
Because it did not have eyes.

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

myoptinsel wrote:

O que é marrom e grudento? Um pau.

that's in brazilian slang, but its funny (because of it).

Dimrill: the translation is good enough!

myp · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:27

When translated back: Because it is that the hedgehog travel through the road? Because he did not have eyes.

Haha, ace. I love doing this with song lyrics.

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

SpunkyMonkeyTrumpet wrote:

Estatisticamente, nove em cada dez pessoas como gangue estupro.

i have absolutely no idea what the words gangue (sounds like ganga which means jeans) and estupro mean.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:28

supposed to be "gang rape"

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

statistically, nine in ten people how gang rape?

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:30

enjoy.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:30

-how +like. Google Translate is rubbish!

myp · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:31

What's this song? From English to Dutch and back again:

Quote:

Lived easy, living going out seasons card on an eenrichtingsrit that nothing Asks, leave me Take everything in my step Dont must reason, dont must rhyme Aint
nothing I rather would do State below, celebration time My friends its gonna ups and downs there also

Im on the large way to piercingly

No stopper plates, ride fast limit Nobody gonna slow down me under in As a wheel, gonna turn movement it Nobody gonna warboel me round off Pile-driver devil,
paid my debts that in a rocking tie Play Pile-driver Mom, look at me Im on my away to the promised land

Im on the large way to piercingly (dont end me)

And Im go below, until the end under in Im on the large way to piercingly

The Rev Owen · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:31

O que é marrom e rima com Snoop?

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Dr Dre.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:32

myoptinsel wrote:

What's this song? From English to Dutch and back again:

Quote:

Lived easy, living going out seasons card on an eenrichtingsrit that nothing Asks, leave me Take everything in my step Dont must reason, dont must rhyme Aint
nothing I rather would do State below, celebration time My friends its gonna ups and downs there also

Im on the large way to piercingly

No stopper plates, ride fast limit Nobody gonna slow down me under in As a wheel, gonna turn movement it Nobody gonna warboel me round off Pile-driver devil,
paid my debts that in a rocking tie Play Pile-driver Mom, look at me Im on my away to the promised land

Im on the large way to piercingly (dont end me)

And Im go below, until the end under in Im on the large way to piercingly

Highway to Hell, obv.

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:32

I thought Hell was in norway.

kalmar · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:33

Um homem entra numa barra. AIE! C' era uma barra de ferro!

myp · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:34

Bing! Your turn.

'I'm on the large way to piercingly'?

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

kalmarzipan wrote:

Um homem entra numa barra. AIE! C' era uma barra de ferro!

that makes absolutely no sense. But i like it.

myp · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:36

Ai ai ai! ¿Donde esta mi tequila?

Dimrill · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:38

myoptinsel wrote:

Bing! Your turn.

'I'm on the large way to piercingly'?

The love is a razor, and I went the line
On this silver blade
Slept in the dust with his daughter
Her eyes red with
The slaughter of innocence
But I will pray for her
I will be their name
I would bleed for her
I only I could see it now

Living on the margin a shaver
Balancing tower impressively on a ledge
Living on the margin a shaver

The evil that men alive and on ...
The evil that men alive and on ...
The evil that men alive and on ...
The evil that men alive and on ...

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

This is from a portuguese comedy show, where the prime minisiter adresses the country after some tragedy:

- These latest events saddens me in such ways that words can't describe it. Fortunately i can describe it with a traditional Zimbabwenian dance.

* stands up and does a very funny dance *

i never get tired of watching that.

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

SpunkyMonkeyTrumpet wrote:

myoptinsel wrote:

Bing! Your turn.

'I'm on the large way to piercingly'?

The love is a razor, and I went the line
On this silver blade
Slept in the dust with his daughter
Her eyes red with
The slaughter of innocence
But I will pray for her
I will be their name
I would bleed for her
I only I could see it now

Living on the margin a shaver
Balancing tower impressively on a ledge
Living on the margin a shaver

The evil that men alive and on ...
The evil that men alive and on ...
The evil that men alive and on ...
The evil that men alive and on ...

the evil that man do

you could have spared the chorus

Dimrill · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:42

Binging Bonging Banging Singing Tree! Ruy's turn.

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

Go sound, go down you to water And see the women weeping there Then go up into the mountains The men, they ploughs weeping too Father, why ploughs all the women weeping? They ploughs weeping will be to their men Then why ploughs all the men there weeping? They ploughs weeping back at them This is weeping song Song in which you weep While all the men and women sleep This is weeping song But I won' t be weeping long Father, why ploughs all the children weeping? They ploughs merely crying sound , Ploughs they merely crying, to father? Yes, true weeping is eats yet you This is weeping song Song in which you weep While all the men and children sleep This is weeping song But I won' t be weeping long Father, ploughs tell me you weeping? Your face seems wet you touch Then I' m alone sorry, to father I to never thought I hurt only you much This is weeping song Song in which you weep While we rock ourselves you sleep This is weeping song But I won' t be weeping long In the I won' t be weeping long In the I won' t be weeping long In the I won' t be weeping long

myp · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:49

It'd be interesting to see which languages you're translating them into and back again. I did English -> German -> French -> English once and it was incomprehensible.

The Rev Owen · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:50

RuySan wrote:

Go sound, go down you to water And see the women weeping there Then go up into the mountains The men, they ploughs weeping too Father, why ploughs all the women weeping? They ploughs weeping will be to their men Then why ploughs all the men there weeping? They ploughs weeping back at them This is weeping song Song in which you weep While all the men and women sleep This is weeping song But I won' t be weeping long Father, why ploughs all the children weeping? They ploughs merely crying sound , Ploughs they merely crying, to father? Yes, true weeping is eats yet you This is weeping song Song in which you weep While all the men and children sleep This is weeping song But I won' t be weeping long Father, ploughs tell me you weeping? Your face seems wet you touch Then I' m alone sorry, to father I to never thought I hurt only you much This is weeping song Song in which you weep While we rock ourselves you sleep This is weeping song But I won' t be weeping long In the I won' t be weeping long In the I won' t be weeping long In the I won' t be weeping long

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, The Weeping Song.

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

myoptinsel wrote:

It'd be interesting to see which languages you're translating them into and back again. I did English -> German -> French -> English once and it was incomprehensible.

i just did english-portuguese-english

and i have no idea where the ploughs come from

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

The Rev Snowen wrote:

RuySan wrote:

Go sound, go down you to water And see the women weeping there Then go up into the mountains The men, they ploughs weeping too Father, why ploughs all the women weeping? They ploughs weeping will be to their men Then why ploughs all the men there weeping? They ploughs weeping back at them This is weeping song Song in which you weep While all the men and women sleep This is weeping song But I won' t be weeping long Father, why ploughs all the children weeping? They ploughs merely crying sound , Ploughs they merely crying, to father? Yes, true weeping is eats yet you This is weeping song Song in which you weep While all the men and children sleep This is weeping song But I won' t be weeping long Father, ploughs tell me you weeping? Your face seems wet you touch Then I' m alone sorry, to father I to never thought I hurt only you much This is weeping song Song in which you weep While we rock ourselves you sleep This is weeping song But I won' t be weeping long In the I won' t be weeping long In the I won' t be weeping long In the I won' t be weeping long

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, The Weeping Song.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:59

que você chama um cão com uma pá acima de seu cu?

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Francês do alvorecer

The Rev Owen · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 16:59

My turn!

Quote:

How to treat your mind as the main?
When you get to the main
And, of who you are
I thought I was misunderstood
I want to hear your words
How can I tell you, please feel
Currently, how do you feel, please tell me

Who came before me
Through its professional life
To complete, from the past
Do not turn away
And, I still find it hard to
I need to say to say
But I'm pretty sure I'll be
How do you feel today, please

I have a ship in the port, please refer to
I have to be able to follow
However, if you were not for the unfortunate
Today I wish to Heaven
I thought I was misunderstood
And I heard talk about ideas
What, please tell me feel
Now, tell me what I please, please

Now here are waiting ...
I thought I told you to put
I walked to the beach
Please tell me how to feel
When cold, your heart grow

Zio · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6093

Blue Monday by New Order?

The Rev Owen · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 17:47

Winner!

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 17:54

Começ à foda fodendo
\

Zio · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6093

The Rev Snowen wrote:

Winner!

Fairly easy one, from English, to Croatian, to Greek and back to English:

Ladies your damn right
You can not read a man's mind
They now live in two races
And Category for war
Well, nobody perfect
We all need to work
But children are worth it
So, does not violate the law

Your call is late, big mistake
We have to hang around until the gap
Next time, read my heart
And it will be good for you
We gift wrapped Kitty cat
We only when converted into the Tigers need to fight back
Come on, Eskimo
Out of the Blue

Come take my hand, you can
Thou Art my husband and I need you tonight
Come to my dreams
Med difficult as it seems
I like easy as pie, I

I just love machine
Feed my fantasy
Give me a kiss or three
I am well
I need a squeeze a day
'Stead of this negligee
What will the neighbors say
This time

I go crazy during sleep
Striking the language that the two of us can speak
Thus, Mr. Prehistoric to your wheel
And I breathe underwater cos I love the way you feel

Your call is late, big mistake
We have to hang around until the gap
Next time, read my heart
And it will be good for you
We gift wrapped Kitty cat
We only when converted into the Tigers need to fight back
Come on, Eskimo
Out of the Blue

Come take my hand, you can
Thou Art my husband and I need you tonight
Come to my dreams
Med difficult as it seems
I like easy as pie, I

I just love machine
Feed my fantasy
Give me a kiss or three
I am well
I need a squeeze a day
'Stead of this negligee
What will the neighbors say
This time

Oh, this is very new
Can anyone tell me what to do?
Oh, this is very strange feeling
Can anyone tell me what you are playing?

(C) A little education
(O) your motivation to kick
(O) will be transformed into a situation ... Round
(Oh) Why I do not want to change the Record
(O) to you so far
(C) I'll just re-arrange Sign ... for now

(A) I am the only Love Machine
(O) your motivation to kick
(A) I am the only Love Machine
(Oh, Oh)
(A) I am the only Love Machine
(O) your motivation to kick
(A) I am the only Love Machine
(Oh, Oh, Oh)

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 18:13

Butt Fuck by Nuclear Assault?

Zio · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6093

Zardasher wrote:

Butt Fuck by Nuclear Assault?

You dissapoint me sir! I thought you would be totally gay enough to get this one!

:kiss:

The Rev Owen · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 18:17

It's Love Machine by Girls Aloud.

kalmar · **Posted:** Tue Dec 16, 2008 18:18

Love machine by Teh Girls of increased volumes!

Be Excellent To Each Other

My favorite joke in english
now correctly translated

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Be Excellent To Each Other

My favorite joke in english now correctly translated

Who is online

My favorite joke in english
now correctly translated